Wisdom in the House of Mourning

By Linda Boe’

 

“It is better to go to a house of mourning

Than to go to a house of feasting,

Because that is the end of every man,

And the living takes it to heart.

Sorrow is better than laughter, 

For when a face is sad a heart may be happy.

The mind of the wise is in the house of mourning,

While the mind of fools is in the house of pleasure.”

Ecclesiastes 7:3-4

 

A strange scripture? Why would anyone prefer a funeral to a feast? The joy of celebration is from God to be enjoyed. Parties can be fun and make us forget our troubles – if only for a day – but a funeral is where all of life comes into clear view and we remember what is really important, what is really true. We tend to take our life for granted until someone loses theirs.

 

When I first heard this verse I remembered a time when I had seen wisdom come in the house of mourning. When I was 18, my dear and godly grandfather died. My mother grieved hard. She adored him, but at the time of my conception, their relationship had become strained. It was 1948 and an out-of-wedlock pregnancy was a disgrace. My parents married and moved away, separating themselves from family and faith. We lived a strangely isolated life, seldom visiting my grandparents, and, when we did, avoiding all aunts, uncles, cousins and family friends, those who had supported and loved my mother all her life.

 

At the funeral home, I saw my mother glowing as she received love from all the people she thought had abandoned and judged her. Her countenance was different than I had ever seen. In that house of mourning, wisdom was there. In that house of mourning, the peace of the God she knew in childhood flooded her. She was comforted by knowing her father was in His hands. She saw love and forgiveness were there all along. She saw God in a way she had not seen Him before. In that house of mourning, there was the joy that was missing from the party-times she loved.  I didn’t know about Ecclesiastes 7 then, but I knew my mother had seen things in the right way in her place of mourning. My mother and I – the living – took it to heart.

 

I saw the same wisdom again when my dad’s mother died suddenly. He saw the reality that any of us could die today, and it frightened him. He saw the end of every man, and rushed to meet with the pastor. He was wiser in the funeral home than in the bar room. 

  

Another time, members of our church gathered at the home of a young couple to pray. The husband had just been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. Doctors only gave him a few months to live. What a blow to this family and to us who loved them! But what wisdom was present there! In a room filled with over a hundred people, a hush fell as this young father shared about all God was showing him in his own “house of mourning.” He said he wanted only for God to be glorified through this, whatever the outcome. He said “I get it!” and everyone knew he was seeing something we don’t quite see yet. He gave us a glimpse. We who were blessed to hear wisdom speak hung on every word. We saw more, understood more, loved more, because we were in the “house of mourning.”

 

Americans do not know how to mourn. In our hurry-up microwave culture, there simply isn’t time!  Mourning is a two-day affair. Employers expect you back to work and productive, showing no signs of grief. Not so in other cultures of the world. The Jewish people are fastidious about mourning, “sitting shiva” with the bereaved for seven days. In Africa family and neighbors gather around for as long as it takes. There is no shame in expressing grief. The Bible contains many laments, including the whole book of Lamentations, where Jeremiah mourns in detail the losses of the Jewish people in the Babylonian captivity of 586 BC. Every year, the Jewish people read the book of Lamentations as part of a seven-day fast in remembrance.

 

A house of mourning doesn’t have to be a funeral home. It can be in our private prayer time when God shows us our sin in light of His holiness. Or times when He convicts of idols and ways of the world. At the church altar when we respond to His presence. The house of mourning is any place where we see His greatness and our weakness.

 

Sorrow can be better than laughter if it brings us closer to God. Mourning shows us life through an eternal lens. Let us take the lessons of the house of mourning to heart!

 

 

Seeking God – Linda Boe

 

“Those who seek me find me.”       Proverbs 8:17

        

            What does it mean to seek God?  The Hebrew language, in which the Old Testament was written, often painted “word pictures” that are more descriptive than our English words.  A meaning of the word “seek” paints a picture of “treading frequently so as to make a path.”

 

I used to wonder what people meant when they talked about “seeking God”. It was something I could not understand. It sounded complicated; certainly not something I knew how to do.

 

When I learned the meaning of the word “seek”, I remembered the path behind my grandfather’s house. In the back of his yard there was a small wooded area. A clear path was visible from the yard – the grass had been worn down to dirt and brush stopped its growth on either side of the path. The path led to my grandfather’s brother’s house. It was made by my grandfather and his brother and their families walking from one house to the other day after day, year after year. Because they tread or walked on the path regularly, grass and brush did not grow—the worn path was evidence of decades of two families sharing their lives with each other.

 

            As the two families walked the path, their relationships were strengthened. The path was proof that they were comfortable knocking on each other’s door to borrow a cup of sugar or to share coffee together. In good times and bad, the more they were a part of each other’s everyday lives, the more worn and clear the path became.

 

            I wonder if the neighbors Jesus described in Luke 11:5-9 had worn a path between their homes. Jesus describes one pounding on the other’s door at midnight asking for bread to feed visitors. At first the neighbor refuses, saying he is in bed, his family with him. Finally, Jesus says the man will give in and give the bread, because of his neighbor’s importunity – his shameless persistence.

 

Seeking God is something we give our lives to. We don’t seek His blessings or information about Him, but we seek Him—as a person, because we desire His company, His companionship. God desires an everyday relationship with us. A comfortable relationship where we feel free to talk to Him whenever we please. A relationship where God feels welcome to speak to us and knows that we will listen when He does. A relationship closer and more intimate than that of my grandfather and his brother. Certainly closer than the two neighbors of Luke 11.

 

            When I thought about the path behind my grandfather’s house, I realized that I do indeed seek Him – every time I pray, meditate on His word, come before Him in worship.  Seeking doesn’t require a special formula, just persistence. Some days I feel closer to Him than others, but as I keep coming to Him, in whatever way I know, in good times and in bad, I am treading that path—I am seeking Him! It is simple! Every prayer I pray and every grateful thought I have of Him presses the brush down a little more. The way seems clearer, the path easier to find. As my grandfather walked the path, he could see a welcoming light in his brother’s window. As I tread the path of seeking Him, I know that God will receive and welcome me. I know that if I seek Him I will find Him!

 

“Ask and it shall be given you; seek and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” Luke 11:9

Remember the Lord – Linda Boe

 

Have you ever been puzzled by trials? Discouraged by unanswered prayer? Wondered if God is still interested in your problems? Asked God “are you still there?

If so, you are not unlike Asaph, the writer of Psalm 77 and David’s Chief Musician. He served under David and Solomon. Like many, he believed Solomon had ushered in the promised kingdom. Imagine his grief when Solomon fell into unrighteousness and idolatry! In his disappointment, he did not see God.

 

He wrote in verses 7- 9:

“Will the Lord cast off forever? And will he be favorable no more? Is His mercy clean gone forever? Doth His promise fail for evermore? Hath God forgotten to be gracious? Hath he in anger shut up his tender mercies?”

Each one of us has been in a place like this, probably many times. A time when we ask, “What happened, Lord? Where are you?” The trials seem unbearable. We know God has been faithful in the past but wonder if we will ever see such faithfulness again. Is it all over? Will we ever know joy again?

The death of a loved one…a serious diagnosis… a deep disappointment… All these things wear down our spirits, but like Asaph, we can be honest with God! We can go to Him with every detail!

 

After pouring out his heart, in verse 10, Asaph seemed to gain new strength. In a deliberate act of obedience, he declares “BUT I WILL REMEMBER the works of the Lord: surely I will remember thy wonders of old.”

What did the psalmist REMEMBER about God? The word “remember” is used often in the Bible. Sometimes I complain that I am losing my memory because I lose keys or forget names, but in the Bible the word “remember” means much more than that, in fact, the Hebrew word for remember includes both remembering and the actions that result from remembering. It means to recall, to remember with favor, and to meditate on. People in the Old Testament built memorials to help them remember, as when Joshua set up twelve memorial stones by the Jordan River to remind the people that God had kept his promise and brought them into the Promised Land. (Joshua 4:7) Remembering was not just a mental exercise, it was a deliberate act and a part of worship.

 What could a psalmist in the days of David and Solomon “remember” about God?

 

• God’s Word: what God said about Himself through the law and the prophets 
• God’s character: what God had revealed about Himself: his faithfulness, His love, His mercy…
• God’s name: He is Jehovah, the one true God, the majestic and all powerful God, the I AM
• God’s ways: the actions of God he had observed 

 

As Asaph remembers the Lord in verse 13, he declares “who is so great a God as our God? Thou art the God that does wonders: thou hast declared thy strength among the people.” He rehearsed God’s attributes, name and acts. He went on to recount the history of Israel’s deliverance from slavery.

 

What do I remember about God when I am beaten down, disappointed and in despair?  I remember that God has always been faithful, not only to those in the Bible but to me personally. I remember that God is good and all powerful. I remember that I can trust Jehovah, the majestic and all powerful God. Unlike Asaph, I remember His faithfulness in sending our Redeemer, Jesus. And when I remember, praise follows!

 

When trials pound you. When pain floods over you. When grief threatens to drown you. When doubt tries to overtake you, REMEMBER THE LORD! Remember: His Word, His character, His name, His ways. Remember that He will come again! Do it on purpose!

 

The Power of One Word

 

“UN-SURVIVABLE”

One word. Sometime in the early evening before Hurricane Laura, I first heard the word “un-survivable”, predicting a 20′ storm surge in the Lake Charles area. Un-survivable? Growing up on the Mississippi Gulf Coast, I’ve lived through many hurricanes, but I never remember hearing a prediction of “un-survivable.” The word was spoken too late to influence more evacuation but not too late to cause a surge of fear began to seep through social media as one after another shared the prediction – “UN-SURVIVABLE!” One journalist got his wish – his word spread and made the headlines in newspapers across the country.

 

I began thinking about the power of a single word. Whether the use of a word is accurate, wise or exaggerated – one word has power.  Whether spoken by a wise man or a fool – one word has power. A few years ago, I read a book about seeking God prayerfully for one word to focus on for a year, meditating on it and praying that God work it into your life. For a few years, I prayed and chose a word. Some words I chose were joy, light, love.  I studied scripture about the word, meditated on it and journaled what the Lord spoke to me. Most years I had forgotten about my word by summer, but many times it would come to mind throughout the year, reminding me how God worked in my life in fulfillment of the “one word.”

 

Thankfully, Hurricane Laura hit in a way and place that a 20 foot storm surge did not occur, but the media was not done with their declarations. Because their “un-survivable” prophecy was wrong, one person began the viral declaration that Lake Charles had “dodged a bullet” This one carried power too because many forgot about the area. I still see articles written by people of Lake Charles, pleading that people forget the headline “dodged a bullet” and see they still need help! One word has power!

 

When the Israelites finally reached the Jordan River across from the land God promised Abraham, 12 spies were sent across. Ten of them returned with a bad report. As they began to describe what they saw, one word stood out and then echoed through the camp – GIANTS!  Once they heard that word, all else said was muffled. They hardly heard Joshua and Caleb insist “it is a good land!” The shouts of “GIANTS!” in their minds drowned them out. One word has power!

 

As in the prediction of an “un-survivable” storm surge, the word “giants” wasn’t the whole story, certainly not the accurate story. Yes, the grapes in the land were huge, proving all God had said about a fertile, lush land of abundance, flowing with milk and honey! But someone concluded that huge grapes meant giants to eat them.  As in the whispering game called “gossip” we played as kids, the message was whispered and spread through the camp. It gained power. One word kept the Israelites from entering the Promised Land! One word has power!

 

How many times do we hear a bad report and make it our constant meditation? We study it, pass it on, make a prediction or a declaration. I know that during this strange season, I’ve succumbed to focusing on the words. You know “the words” — pandemic, Covid, death, riots, hurricanes and so many more….. They echoed through my mind trying to control my thoughts and create stress and fear. It was necessary to use them to inform my choices, but did I allow the enemy to magnify and twist them?

 

What about the words I repeat? What is their source? Do I spread words whispered by the enemy? It’s been a tricky year – hard to know what’s true and what’s a lie. As we seek discernment, let’s allow God to filter not only our meditations, but the words we speak.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue. And those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21

 

I’ve seen a lot of memes using words and pictures with the caption “if 2020 was a ____, picturing some unpleasant, pessimistic illustration. Some said “If 2020 was a word _____” I can’t really remember the words that followed. I admit some were funny, but most were downright scary. I scrolled quickly through! I could not bear to think of a whole year defined that way! If 2020 is a word, who gets to choose? The media, social media, friends, political enemies? Satan has certainly tried!

 

It’s not January 1, but let’s allow God to choose a new word for the remainder of 2020. Let it not be “pandemic” or “catastrophic”.  Nothing to do with political chaos or division. What if the word chosen was “peace”? Or “faith”?  “blessed”?  Personally, “kingdom” has been my meditation, as in “thy kingdom come.”

 

Let God alone define 2020! Let God define how I view 2020! It’s His year! He brings the seasons and the harvest of each year! Psalms 65:11 says, “You have crowned the year with your bounty, and your paths drip fatness.” Another translation says, “even the hard pathways overflow with abundance.”

 

2020 has certainly brought hard pathways. Some of us have had to be dragged along kicking and screaming, but there is beauty and bounty along the path. He is walking with us. He whispers His words in our ear, and not one of them is “UN-SURVIVABLE”.

 

 “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD, my strength and my redeemer.” Psalm 19:14

 

This is an article published in “The Human Condition” column of The Advocate a few weeks ago. You may ask, “why write for a secular column?” One thing I learned at Christian writer’s conferences and by submitting devotionals for various publications is that each one has a targeted audience. They only publish what fits their criteria and purposes. The Human Condition is just that – people write stories that readers can connect to in their own “human condition”.  Connections help us see we are not alone. What better time to make a connection? We are the light of the world! That light shines even in everyday matters. Actually it may shine brighter there! At a time when people feel loss and loneliness, why not sow seeds of understanding? Why not shine a light – if only a hint or glimmer – on the One to whom we offer gratitude? 

 

The response I received to the column confirmed to me that many really “got” the message. So, when thinking about how to shine the light of Jesus outside of church walls, think outside the box. We can choose to look at the pulpit or platform that we don’t have or allow God to show us ordinary, humble ways to sow what we do have.  I don’t get out much these days! But, I pray that I may still sow light and life. 

 

 

My calendar and I have a love-hate relationship. Why does a retired empty-nester need a planner? I didn’t expect to be so busy.

What a wonderful surprise to have a life so full that I still needed to plan and to remember what I planned.

Many times, people have asked: “What do you do with your time?”

 

Almost every retired person I know would answer: “Ha! I’m busier than ever! How did I have time to work?” But when they asked, “What did you do this week?” my mind went blank. What did I do? The planner helped me see and remember that I actually did do quite a bit!

My planner was chock-full for March, April and May. I started putting smiley faces for each grandchild who was coming to stay. My older grandsons play baseball for LSU, so purple and gold stickers marked game days. I used other symbols and abbreviations so I could see at-a-glance what I needed to do — meetings, appointments, church, Bible studies, trips to see my out-of-town children and grandchildren, lunches with friends.

Checking off to-do’s feels good. At the end of a month, I loved to look at all I did. Each smiley face carried a memory.

Even so, the calendar was at times a source of frustration. Sometimes it made me tired just to look at it! In February, I looked at the calendar for spring and wondered how I could accomplish all. Where would I get the stamina to run the errands, do all my “stuff” and be at Alex Box many evenings for baseball games? But, I was oh so excited!

Like all of you, on March 12, 2020, my calendar became obsolete. Baseball season was canceled. I was no longer needed to babysit. In fact, no little people visit my house. Every appointment was marked “canceled.” There would be no trips to Houston or Colorado or visits from family there.

 

For weeks, I actually couldn’t bear to look at the calendar. It hurt too much. It sat on my table as a memorial to all I lost this spring, so I hid it way. As I remembered how I had complained about being busy, I cringed.

Through most of April, I didn’t take it out, but soon I realized I was missing family birthdays. Friends didn’t get birthday cards. Some things on the calendar still mattered.

Now it doesn’t hurt as much to look at the purple and gold and the little smiley faces on the calendar. I missed a lot this spring, but I am so grateful that I had a lot to miss.

This crisis has given me compassion for those who are lonely and isolated. A time will come when the grandchildren are grown and busy, and my calendar won’t be so full. I’m not ready for that.

The stay-at-home order was a wake-up call to check my gratitude attitude!

How fitting that the planner I bought for this year has a page at the end of every month to list things I am grateful for. It’s a list I won’t ignore.

What fun it will be when the planner begins to fill up again. I’ll try not to complain.

 

Linda Boe

May 3,  2020

 

No matter where we stand in the spectrum of opinions and theories about the present crisis, no matter how strong our faith, we must agree on one thing: a shaking is occurring. Much is being shaken – the economy, the government, the healthcare system, and yes, even the church – at least in how it functions and gathers. Hopes and plans are rattled. Things we depended on for comfort are distant. Support systems are teetering. Yes, much is being shaken, but the Bible assures us that some things cannot be shaken.

 

The writer of Hebrews talks about God shaking the earth. “And His voice shook the earth then, but now He has promised, saying, ‘Yet once more I will shake the earth, but also heaven. This expression, ‘yet once more’, denotes the removing of those things which can be shaken, as of created things, so that those things which cannot be shaken will remain” (Heb. 12:26-28). He is referring back to Mt. Sinai when the earth shook, but, then, by quoting Haggai 2, pointing to a future time when “I will again shake the earth.”

 

Jesus speaks to his disciples of wars, famines and earthquakes, but when they asked him about the signs of his coming and the end of the age, he tells them in Mt. 24:8 “But all these things are merely the beginning of birth pangs.” We know that, once begun, birth pangs intensify until they accomplish their purpose. Surely, we can all agree that the birth pangs are growing stronger and coming more frequently.

 

Shaking is a process God uses. Shaking removes what is temporary and leaves that which is permanent. Shaking is uncomfortable but is a process we can learn to appreciate. Let’s allow this interlude, this “interruption” of our lives, to teach us to value the lessons shaking brings.

 

When God does the shaking, it accomplishes these five things:

 

• It wakes you

Sometimes we have to shake our children a bit to rouse them from a deep sleep. It’s not the most pleasant manner to wake up, but sometimes God needs to wake us up to get our full attention.

 

• It harvests what is ripe

Think of how citrus fruits are harvested by shaking the tree. The ripe fruit falls to the ground. God’s shaking harvests what is ripe in the life of a believer, both good and bad. We see the product of seeds previously planted. It reveals what has borne fruit in our lives and what has not. We have an opportunity to prepare for the next harvest.

 

• It removes what is dead

When wind blows hard enough, it shakes dead leaves from the trees and sometimes dead limbs and branches. God shakes us to remove our dead works and lifeless ways.

 

• It establishes closer to the foundation.

What remains is closer to the foundation. All that we labor for that is not supported by Him will be lost. We now have the opportunity to build on the proper support structure.

 

• It unifies

Relationships that are knit together in Him are strengthened. Those that are not waver or fail. We realize what is important and who is important.

 

On what foundation is God establishing us? 1 Peter 2:5 tells us “You also, as living stones, are being built up as a spiritual house for a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.” 

 

About we who are citizens of the kingdom of heaven,  Paul says in Eph. 2:18-22 “having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus Himself being the chief cornerstone, in whom the whole building, being fitted together, is growing into a holy temple in the Lord, in whom you are being built together into a dwelling of God in the Spirit.” We ourselves are building blocks of the dwelling place of God!

 

God’s construction site has not been shut down in this crisis. I suspect His work is accelerating. He is preparing the church for His return, mortaring us together by His Spirt in unity.

 

As for me, after the shaking, when the stones stop tumbling and I sit in the midst of the rubble, seeing how the dust has settled, I ask myself….

 

If God woke me up, will I lull myself back to sleep with the cares and busyness of the world or will I keep myself awake, watching and alert in prayer? Am I roused with compassion for those who are sick, dying, lonely, lost?

 

Is the fruit harvested juicy and sweet, or do I need to reevaluate the seeds I’ve sown? Have I sown love, understanding, compassion, peace? Have I sown my time and money?

 

As dried-up, dead works are blown away, will my habits and ways go back to what they were or will I choose only those things God directs? Will I consider each activity with wisdom like the Proverbs 31 woman who “considered a field” before she bought it?

 

Have the structures I’ve depended on proven flimsy and unstable? How does God want to restructure the strewn-about pieces of my life and heart? Will I let Him do the rebuilding?

 

Has my living stone rolled far from the foundation, alone and separated, or is it adhered and mortared tightly to Jesus and to the adjoining stones? Do I need to move it back into unity? Will I allow myself to be chiseled and rebuilt as a living stone, a living, functioning member of the body of Christ?  Even when the chiseling hurts? Even when it is costly?

 

Will I remember Him? When the voices of distraction shout out and demand to be heard, will I remember how sweet His presence is in this time?  Will I plan my days to abide in this presence at all costs?

 

What an opportunity the shaking has given! It is a preview of what will be shaken and what will stand! It reminds me of the wisdom that resides in the house of mourning in the book of Ecclesiastes, “for the mind of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the mind of fools is in the house of pleasure.” In America, we have often dwelt in the house of pleasure. We are blessed. We must pray that, as we mourn, more will see Jesus and seek His kingdom, the one that cannot be shaken.

 

“Therefore, since we receive a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us show gratitude, by which we may offer to God an acceptable service with reverence and awe” (Heb. 12:28). As we see more clearly all that can be shaken, let us offer to Him our gratitude and praise for a kingdom that cannot be shaken.