Hold me

 

While Judah is on the micro preemie hall of the NICU, we get to hold him for a few hours and do skin to skin every day. There are so many studies out there about the medical benefits of skin to skin care, especially for preemies.  Babies get their best restorative rest laying against a parents chest, and its proven to help them develop better and faster. Not to mention, It’s the best part of my day.  I spend all day at work thinking about him and praying for him, and when I finally get to hold him against my chest my heart melts. One day as I was holding him, watching him rest in my arms, the lyrics to the song The More I Seek You came to mind. 

 

I want to sit at your feet , Drink from the cup in your hand.

Lay back against you and breath, feel your heart beat

This love is so deep, it’s more than I can stand.

I melt in your peace, it’s overwhelming.

 

 

As I held little helpless Judah, I thought, wow,  this is what the lord wants for us. Just as I long to hold Judah against my chest and give him the rest he needs, the lord longs to hold us tight against his chest and restore us. When we feel we can’t go on, when we feel worn out and completely spent, he wants to hold us. When we feel sad, or overwhelmed he wants to hold us. 

 

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

    will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,

    my God, in whom I trust.”  Psalm 91:1

 

Oh that we would choose to dwell in the shelter of his arms.  He wants to embrace us that we may dwell in his shelter and hide in his shadow. He wants to teach our hearts that he is our fortress and refuge and we can trust him. But we must enter into the secret places of intimacy with Him, so God can hold us and love on us.

 

 When I hold Judah, I speak to him. I tell him probably a couple dozen times how much I love him. I tell him how many people are praying for him, I tell him of how great God is and all the miracles He has done in his life. My physical breath as it goes over him helps him build essential antibodies to fight germs. I sing over him; I sing songs of deliverance. I sing songs of how great God is. Oh if we would let our guards down, embrace our weakness, and humble ourselves to be held by the lord. “…he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” Zeph 3:17 The moments in the secret place, when the lord reminds you of all he has done, and speaks and sings over you are life giving.  

 

As Judah lays there, his  little fingers scratch against my chest. The nurse told me this is a natural way for babies to build their immunity, as they later put those same hands in their mouths. To think that we can lay against Christ and take of the bread of life to nourish our weak bodies and make them stronger. 

 

As Judah’s body is against mine, he is able to learn to regulate his own body temperature to match mine. At times we are lukewarm in our walk with Christ and we may feel like we just don’t even have a desire to pray or read the bible. But when we lay against his chest, he can give us that fire we need, he can regulate our temperature so to speak. 

 

Judah’s heart rate also gets regulated to match mine as I hold him. I think of how many times a single thought crosses my mind and instantly my heart races and I can quickly become overwhelmed with anxiety. As I lay against my Father’s chest my racing heart, my overwhelmed heart can learn to match his steady beats. His constant heart-beat of consistent love toward me. My heart can learn to trust him that he is steadfast. 

 

There is a special bond that is formed between mother and baby during skin to skin. Judah learns my smell; he knows my voice. Even as I walk into his room and talk to the nurse his oxygen saturation numbers go high. He knows it’s me, and simply my presence in that room is life giving. That’s powerful. Have we spent intimate moments with the lord where we allow him love on us, where we hide in his secret place. Do we know God’s voice in an instant? Do we know his smell? Do we know when he walks into a room and are we deeply affected by his presence? Or are there critical moments we miss out on because we have not made ourselves familiar with the lord?

Our God is the all-powerful, all-knowing God that desires to be intimately acquainted with our lives, but are we inviting him in? Those moments that I hold Judah it is 100% about him. I love on him, I comfort him and encourage him. Oh that we would let the Lord do this to us, that his life would revive us. 

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