I Want To Prefer Me – Wendy Abboud

I want to prefer that I be thrown under a bus before I dare cast any blame on anyone else or seek to color them in a negative light.

I want to prefer that I be crushed rather than seek to crush anyone else in order to falsely increase my value or make myself feel or appear “better than”, “more wiser than”, “more mature than”, “more loving than”.

I want to prefer that I be last to fix and sip on my morning cup of coffee. 

I want to prefer that I be gossiped about before I open my mouth to speak ill of any man or women, boy or girl that Christ died for.

I want to prefer to be “underneath” lifting others up rather than seek to build myself up.

I want to prefer that my leisure bubble bath be pushed to the side in order to have more time with my husband or an especially long story and prayer time with my babies.

I want to prefer to see the person in the room who is struggling, suffocating, hurting, straining to be there, feeling outcasted rather than seek to be the person everyone wants to talk to.

I want to prefer that I “see” others rather than be “seen”.

I want to prefer that I “hear” others rather than be heard.

This is only possible because He preferred Himself over me.

He preferred that He sweat blood and suffer in agony rather than me.

He preferred that He wash my feet rather than the other way around.

He preferred that He be exposed so that I may be covered. 

He preferred that He be crushed on the cross rather than crush me.

He preferred that He take my shame.

He preferred that He take my stripes.

He preferred that He take my wounds.

He preferred that He take my punishment.

Oh Heavenly Father, I want to prefer me.

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”

Philippians 2:3-8